Ask Zoro II
by HogwartShinobi
Summary: Oh dear...Zoro broke the mast AGAIN. But this time- On Thousand Sunny? I DONT OWN ONE PIECE
1. Grand Line Evening Post Presents

Hmmm...Miss meh?

Yeah, I decided Im not gonna let you shove me into the corner of forgottenness (-claws away from corner-) And Ive always thought that if reviewers REALLY liked something, they'd review the sequel just as much as the first :)

BUT! ...I need to get some rules down ;D

1. This is 'Ask Zoro' not 'ask who ever you want'.

2. Format:

Dear (Insert your name for'em),

Question blah blah blah marimo question blah blah blah.

---(three dashes) YOU NAME.

3. Why am I putting down rules when you should be asking questions to the marimo, ne? Teehee!

**Zoro:** Damn navigator...

**HS:** YOU broke the stupid mast!


	2. Edition 1

_Dear Moss-Head,_

_Yay first review! Anyway, who is the best swordsman you've met aside from Mihawk, Kuina, and possibly Tashigi? Also, do you get annoyed by everyone calling Mosshead, Marimo, gay swordsman, etc?_

_-Mr. Thumbsup_

**Dear Mr. Thumbsup,**

**I call no one the best if they dont have the title. And YES as a matter of fact I DO get annoyed. What if I called you Mr. Thumbsdown?!**

_

* * *

Jee! Haha! I know you'll see it our way Hogwart-san!  
Anyway,I've missed this thing though I am kinda' new.  
But anyway,it's time to ask Roronoa-san some questions;_

_1.Uhm.. I'm really curious about your sword putting in to  
your mouth and hitting your opponent with it so.. this  
question kinda' just 'popped' out.What toothpaste are you  
using? Cuz' dehym! I wanna have them teethes!_

_2.How many money did you save from the last 'Ask Roronoa.. I  
mean,Ask Zoro' thing? I'm nosy I know but I just wanna know._

_3.But anyway,if you had a younger freakingly annoying brother  
who broke your sword,what would you do to him? Cuz that is what  
happened to me._

_--  
Tashina; There! smile That's all! By the way,I'm sure many people  
would start reviewing or asking Roronoa-san some question and  
I am sure they all miss you! Hahaha! Bye now!_

**Dear Tashina,**

**1. I do not now the 'brand'! I dont buy it, Nami and Sanji do. Besides, why is my oral hygiene of you're concern? I doubt with once I use changes the way I fight...**

_

* * *

_

_Yo, HS! well... better get the questions going  
1. do you get paid for this one too, haramaki?  
2. how did you break the mast?  
3. are you tied to a chair like last time... to restrain you? mumbles this->(i hope he is restrained for the thing i'm going to do)  
HS? can i do something to haramaki? or is it an only question corner? smirks warim haramaki... and HS, but i always have to at least do something to haramaki! gets a green marker and writes marimo on his forehead and draws on his face WARI! runs off_

_---3xPyroxKatana_

**Dear 3xPyroxKatana,**

**1. Ive never be payed; The money goes to the navigator witch.**

**2. Fight. Attack from a Marine Ambush. Before you ask, we kicked their asses.**

**(HS: coughranawaylikegirlscough)**

**You dont GET a say in this, annoying one.**

**(HS: oh? Is that my new name? Ha! You sound like Yoda! Even have the green to top it off, eh, Marimo?)**

**/Roronoa Zoro glares at HogwartShinobi**

**3. I havent been restrained in a long time. It's pretty pointless to try to run when the Spwan of Satan lives on the same ship.**

**(HS: DID YOU JUST CALL ME SPAWN OF SATAN?!)**

_

* * *

_

_hey Zoro! this is De-Ji, I just have a couple questions to ask you. are you happy about the new dub:D I sure am. The other is what was your favorite part in the Skypiea arc? I liked your goggles, they were awesome! I don't know why... they just are! sorry, I'll stop blabbing now (waves hand) ja ne!_

**Dear De-Ji,**

**I suppose the dub will be okay. There wasnt many changes called, -snigger- Sanji still has his lollipop...**

_

* * *

Hey Zoro. _

_It's me again, Emma Iveli the most sane person who's been asking you questions. Well anyways I was wodnering, since oyu said you like all Alcholic Drinks... I was wodneirng do oyu like appletinis? Jsut wondering... See ya later..._

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**Yes! The sane one!**

**Appletinis? IM A _MAN_! THEREFORE I DRINK _BEER_.**

**/HS stifles giggles**

_

* * *

_

_Hey! You're back! -tackle glomp-. I hate to say it but I missed this -teary anime eyes-. Anywho, there's a question I want to ask. How much protesting against HS's SkiexZoro shipping have you been doing? Just wondering._

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**SKiexZoro ship? What nonsense are you doing behind by back...?**

**/HS whistles innocently**

_

* * *

_

_AHAHA! You're Back! I'm Glad! you too, Kelly! Dang, Zoro... you can't stay outta trouble! well what to ask you now...Oh! First I'm working on a fanfic that has Cheese from Fosters home for imaginary...yeah well, if you met Cheese would you go insane and try to kill him, tolerate him or jump ship? XP I'm hyper right now so Sorry..._

_---CheshireSphinx_

**Dear CheshireSphinx,**

**I would not go insane and try to kill him. I would go insane and kill him. -End of story.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Marimo,  
Sorry, I didn't put much effort into calling you a name. I could thought of something creative like 'Grass ' or ' Grumbo the Dumbo' but I feel like being nice. :)  
Did you know Oda said that you cannot dress yourself without any of your fashionable crewmates by your side? Besides your normal atire, the only times you can dress in something cool is when Nami, Sanji, or Usopp is with you. Ha ha, and I'm not just saying that to be an . It's true, if you don't believe me then I'll send you the SBS question. Well that's all I got, Ja Ne.  
_

_-SKZS_

**Dear SanjikunZorosan,**

**(HS: Pst! Send it to me :D)**

**/Roronoa Zoro glares.**

**(HS: Ahem. I mean. NEXT QUESTION!)**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro...  
Have you ever watchd movies? Well, if you have, what one is your favorite? I'd like to know. And guess who's back!? IT'S ME!_

_-Ia-Swan_

**One Piece movie 5 for reasons I do not have to explain to a Sanji-crazed fan like _you_.**

_

* * *

_

Hm, ten questions for edition one... I _like_ it :3


	3. Edition 2

hearts in eyes YAH YOUR BACK! tee hee... im so happy! I love you HS! You probly broke the mast yourself and then framed Zoro for it so you could get him back huh? lol...probly! ANYWAY! Do you like penguins? Cuz you know how in that one ending thing you were like surrounded by penguins and there was one on your head? just a random question...XD So ya...thats it for now, but i'll think up some GOOD questions for you next time! XD evil smile lol...Ja Ne!

**Dear Lilygirl59,**

**I, as a matter of fact, do not like penguins. As you saw the abused my head and invaded my space.**

_

* * *

__Hola, Senior Roronoa! Long time, no see eh? Did ya miss meh? Guess not. QUESTION TIME! _

1) Have you seen Ghost Rider?  
2) If you made a deal with the devil and became the 'ghost rider', would you be all badass and disobey him or do whatever he asks when he asks?  
3) Do ya liketh teh SHREK!?! HA! W00TNESS! Donkey RULES!

_---Kree-chan_

**Dear Kree-chan,**

**1) Why do you people ask about stuff that has nothing to do with me or One Piece?!**

**2) It doesnt matter. Im _already_ badass. Ahem.**

**3. ...Im sorry, I dont speak...You're 'language'.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Moss-Head_

_Ah...nothing. There's nothing going on behind your back -glares at HS but blushes-. Another question, what do you think of this joke here?  
Three pals walked into a restraunt. One had orange hair, the other bright red, and the third green. The waiter came up to take their order and asked "Wow! How'd you get your hair that color?". The orange-haired girl replied first: "It's just natural for me." she said. The red-haired man was next; "Mine's natural too." The waiter turned to the guy with green hair, "And you? Is yours natural?" he asked. The green haired man nodded, "Yup. Mine's all natural too." and then he wiped his nose and brought his hand up through his hair._

_...Weell?_

_--You're pal Skie-Chan xD_

**Dear Skie-chan,**

**...Are you trying to imply something, Skie?**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Marimo,_

_Hee Hee, got chya mad didn't I? Have you ever considered smoking like Sanji does? I'm not saying that to make it seem like that you are more like Sanji cause I'm a Sanji fangirl and all but, it is suppose to calm your nerves. So if you smoke, you won't want to kill me when I ask if you are truely gay? ...JUST KIDDING!! JA NE!!_

_Oh! HS, here is that link thing. I would have PMed you but I'm really lazy right now. Don't let Zoro hurt me okay? I'm not a ninja... http :// w._**arlongpark**_. net /Manga /SBS /37 remove the spaces and scroll down till it asks the question stating where did Luffy get his wristband in skpiea. It should be the secound question. Don't let greeny get to mad but it's what oda said._

_---SanjiKunZoroSan_

**Dear SanjiKunZoroSan,**

**Im not going to smoke. It kills your lungs. -And before you start on alchohol, that's a completely different matter. So...Dont start that!**

_

* * *

__Hey Zoro, _

Emma agian. I was wodnering if you have read my fic Bleach Marimo... it's basically a a sort of retelling odf Bleach but you become a Soul Reaper... Jsut wondering if you thoguht it was cool or not...

_---Emma Eveli_

**Dear Emma Eveli,**

**Eh? Bleach? But wouldnt that turn my hair white?!**

**/Everyone sweatdrops**

_

* * *

__Ahem! Dear Roronoa, _

First of all,I wasn't really concearned about your  
hygene.I asked you about the tooth paste because I think  
your teeth is really strong to carry a heavy sword.I tried  
it but.. failed miserably.Never mind! Anyway.. tee hee!  
giggles like a I'm really glad to have counted  
28 OCs paired to you! Isn't that great?! ;D Uhm.. okay  
question,before I annoy you.

_---Tashina_

**Dear Tashina,**

**All the times I had good naps. Then I could re-nap them. See how that works?**

**(HS: Mary-sues are chicks that are prefect OC's, everyone loves them and all the boys fall for them. Basically their goddesses that are hated by MANY authors :D AU is short for Alternate Universe.)**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro...  
Do you like Skie... you know. Like LIKE her? Well, you're going to have to because we, Kelly and I, are pushing you and her together! Hope you're happy! ;P :D_

_-Ia Swan_

**Dear Ia-'swan',**

**WHAT?!**

**(HS: ...And then Kelly ran!)**

**GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PEST!**

**/Roronoa Zoro and HogwartShinobi will be back in just one moment.**_

* * *

_

_SQUEE! Zoro you're back! Here's my question; In Enies Lobby you were crying when Obaa-chan reveald herself as a mermaid. Maybe not crying but, watery eyes. Did you have your expectation too, of what a mermaid looked like? -sly grins-_

-Oni Giri Slash (and to HS; why do we have to do three dashes?)

**Dear Oni Giri Slash,**

**No, it was just...UGLY. My eyes were watering from the ugly.**

**(HS 3 dashes cuz Im OCD like that.)**

* * *

_Hello, Zoro. Don't worry, I'm one of the sane ones on this website (most of the time). What do you think of the internet in a general sense? That will be all for now. Bye._

See ya later, HS.

-madlibs44

**Dear madlibs44,**

**Its crazy and I wish I could find some way to avoid it for the rest of my life. Any questions?**

_

* * *

_

_Kelp-head,_

Sorry! It just came to me! the nickname! so you'd try to kill him either way huh? EVIL! points finger eh, you're always like that... evil in a good way. he he... I've made it so that Cheese is bugging Crocodile. BUT... is there any american shows you like?

_---CheshireSphinx_

**Dear ChesireSphinx,**

**That one show.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,  
do you realize that you are calling lots of girls dear? lol just kidding. What do you think of some of the OC's made up for you? And just so you know, you are not gay, your hair should not be pink, and you should never be paired with Sanji.  
That is all! ja ne Mr. Roronoa!_

_---Edelweiss_

**Dear Edelweiss,**

**I realize that, but this IS an answer column, so I put it in that format. None of that script crap. And OC's can go die; I love no fangirl.**_

* * *

_

_1. haramaki, am i insane to you? why is only Emma Iveli the sane one! im sane too!  
2. i want to see the SBS question too! what book was it in?  
3. did you ever meet Sasuke in Naruto? isn't he emo? kicks sasuke and runs away from sakura and all the other sasuke lovers GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BASTARDS! turns around, grabs a long metal pole and start beating the emo-lovers THERE! i'm done hurting them! and ow... they hurt me too... but that was fun! all bloody so haramaki... leans on the metal pole for support i like shikamaru nara, what do you think of him?_

_---3xPyroxkatana_

**Dear 3xPyroxKatana,**

**1. See answer for question three.**

**2. Why the hell are you asking me?!**

**3. And you ask why I question your sanity because...?**

**

* * *

**

Zoro: Hn. They're_ still _crazy.

HS: Eh, you'd think we'd get use to it by now... Hey, I think we just need 20 chapters again. It should be another to pay off Nami.

Zoro: Sure? Im not doing any more then I have to.

HS: Ditto.


	4. Edition 3

_Dear Marimo,_

_Would you like me to ask you 50 questions? I'm more than willing, I wanna see how much you would spazz. I'm quite surprised you didn't want to kill me for that last questions, I was like cowering behind my computer chair. Well here is my questions, do you find me annoying, unique, simple minded, stupid, or just plain weird? Don't answer all of the above or I will throw a bowl of green Jello at you. I'm serious too...Ja Ne_

_-SKZS_

_(P.S. About LG's questions, how can you NOT like penguins?! They are so cute!))_

**Dear SKZS,**

**No.**

**Dont you dare send me more then at least 5. **

**I might just have to kill you.**

* * *

_Dear Moss-Head,_

_I MIGHT be implying something -evil grin of dewm- Yeah, you're hair's all icky. Moss-head. HAH. I win so much. Oh, my question, right. Okay, so-  
-Skie's evil doppelganger/clone takes over the computer and shoves Skie under a nearby couch-  
Hey Zoro-Kuun! If I was dying, you'd rescue poor me right? And I just gotta say, you're a hundred times hotter then Sanji!  
-blows kiss and disappears in a ninja poof-_

_--With lots and lots of Love! Skie-Chan._

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**/Roronoa Zoro's eye twitches**

**This is certainly...New?**

**(HS: I like to call it a point of realization.)**

**This is your doing?**

**(HS: It's my purpose in life.)**

* * *

_Dear My Sweet Marimo-kun!_

_Ello Jello!! lol...thats my new favorite saying! ANYWAY! so, do you like op movie number 6? like how they draw your hair and what not...i really dont, but everyone else seems to. and they keep saying that you looked great at the party...but personally, i hated the drawing style..._

_And btw, go Skie! lol, your joke with the red-head, carrot-head, and marimo-head was great XD! so true! Dont you think Zoro? -winks-_

_-Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**Actually, I was more focused on _my body and soul being consumed by a flower_. Silly me.**

* * *

_Hey,_

_Um... I need to ask you a favor... You see I jsut offically announced a fan art contest based on my fics... and I need to help to get the word out... so could you please help me? It's stuff based on my fics (holds up two 6 packs of beer) If you do I'll give you this._

_Thanks for you help, Emma Iveli._

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**O.O Beeeeeer...**

* * *

_1. ... i stand corrected... wari...  
2. are you multilanguagal?  
3. are you an idiot?  
4. i hate mary-sues... don't you too?  
5. and i am sane! most of the time... grumbles NO NEED TO POINT IT OUT! goes crazy DIE! SASUKE! (i have no idea why i said that, blame my crazy kid side)_

_---3xPyroxKanata_

**Dear 3xPyroxKatanas,**

**1. Heh.**

**2. I dont think I am. Especially since my world is based of Japanese as the international language. **

**3. Are you?**

**4. Sure.**

**5. I suggest a therapist.**

* * *

_OI! Zoro-chan not everyone is insane ya moron!_

_1)HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO SANJI?!?!?!?!?!!?!?crys in connor  
2)btw you need to relax...sosmashs a huge mallet the appears out of nowhere on zoro-chan's head3_

_--Kai-razy_

**Dear Kai-razy,**

**1) And you wonder why I call everyone insane?**

**2) Again, therapy might just help you and your...Problem.**

* * *

_Zoro-chan,_

_Wadda ya mean 'that one show'? And I'm not insane, thank you. Elisa: Yeah you are! CS: SHUT UP! If I am Insane, it's from my Cheshire-ness. ...that one show... Yeah, I'm hyper right now... the real question is that since I haven't asked you anything about your relationships with whomever, (shudders) SanZo...No...that's just wrong... Uh I'm more sane than most people here, but less sane than Luffy huh?_

_CheshireSphinx_

**Dear CheshireSphinx,**

**Why the hell are you all giving me a 'chan' honorific?!**

**And by the way, I have know idea what you just said. Perhaps more coherent sentences?**

* * *

_Dear Roronoa,_

_Tsk! Mehyn,if I was to have a time machine,I'd go back to  
the day where Kuina was about to fall down the stairs and  
die.You could go in their house and stop the incident.Tsk!_

_Anyway,that doesn't matter.Hmm... my sister asked if you  
are still a virigin.. Hehe! Sorry bout that.She's just.. like  
that.By the way my real question is,what do you feel about  
1.Nami?  
2.Robin?  
and  
3.Vivi?  
Uhm.. that's all.Thx! XD_

_------Tashina_

**Dear Tashina,**

**1) ...She's a girl.**

**2) ...She's also female.**

**3) ...And there's another one.**

**What was the point?**

* * *

_Dear frieken bad pee person (Zoro),_

_YES!! I LOVE this fanfic because it torchers Zoro somewhat- I MEAN!... no.. that's what I mean. So, Zoro, have you seen One Piece episode 318 yet? grins If you have, do you like it? I LOVE it!!_

_- Dalesrose  
P.S. SANJI'S BETTER!!_

**Dear Dalerose,**

**/Roronoa Zoro grunts.**

**I bet I did a better job then you.**

* * *

_1. Do You have any clue as to why so many people stick you with Sanji? It's just wrong!  
2. Would you consider sleeping as a kind of training? You do it so much.  
3. Why did you pierce your ear? I mean, I think it looks cool but I know some people that think it looks stupid.  
4. How much do you lift, weight wise, when you train to get stronger?  
5. Has an evil question demon ever jumped out of the computer and strangled you? My brother says it's going to happen to me.  
Thanks for your time_

_-Panda_

**Dear Panda,**

**1. I dont know. But I think it's wrong too.**

**2. Not really. I just happen to like sleeping. Is that a crime?**

**3. I FELT like it.**

**4. As many as I can hold up.**

**5> DOes your brother require therapy as well?**

* * *

_Dear Kengo(highly skilled swordsman),_

_I really respect you as a swordsman, Zoro-sama.  
...  
Damn, aren't I good at lying? XD I was wondering, why are you taking orders from HS when you could defeat her? O.o Or is it a part of your honor code?_

_Also, why not just ignore Sanji? Hes just trying to get a rise out of you. Or is it part of the 'Male pride'thing? --; Well, even though your not my favorite character, I like you better then Sanji._

_Ja nee,_

_Mari-chan_

_P.S. You and Skie would be a (kinda) cute couple. Shes funny. Ano...gotta go! (runs)_

**Dear Mari-chan,**

**(HS: He's not taking orders from me! If anything he's taking orders from Nami!)**

**OI!**

**(HS: What? 'S the true.)**

**Hn.**

**I cant just ignore the bastard. I live on the same damn ship as him!**

* * *

_Oi, Algae-head-kun. Thing._

_Though the most convienient place to put your third sword would be in your mouth, I bet the real reason why you took up Santoryu was because you like the taste of the sword. Am I right? Hm? Hm?! I bet I am! Oh yeah. Sanji's better than you and I love him and you're cool too, but you sometimes scare me._

_...Your face makes babies cry. Yeah._

_-Sei-sama_

**Dear Sei-'sama',**

**Lie. It's the fighting style.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro-sama:  
I have TONS to ask but I know you hate doing this so I´ve resumed it all into two important questions:  
1.-I want to practise kenpo but everyone says its not a girls sport and why not do balle instead(shudders at the only mention of it)  
2.-I have a really annoying lil sis that got herself one of those toys that make annoying sounds when you touch them and then she leaves it around everywhere for me to accidentally move and then it makes a sound, I instinctively throw it against a wall and get punished doing all her house chores, I  
need help!_

_PS:Sending a barrel of rum, two crates of beer and an electric whip to hit Sanji with(sorry Sanji-fangirls, Sanji, suffer!)_

_Demonic Samurai of Doom_

**Dear Demonic Samurai of Doom,**

**1) Well, I dont know kenpo is, but if you try, you could probably practice it.**

**2) Maybe...Oh, I dont know; Dont touch it then.**

* * *

Teehee, now let's see who reads the author's notes! Next up, Robin-nee-san is answering questions! Questions to Zoro will be ignored ;D 


	5. Edition 4

_Hello, I know you like reading, but have you ever read Make-Out Paradice by Jirayra? I was just wondering. Thanks..._

_---Emma Iveli_

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**Ah, Ero-sennin-san did enjoy giving me a copy. I pondered reading it, but it somehow disappeared off my shelf. Perhaps I should ask Cook-san where it is? -smile-**

_

* * *

Ah! Robin-sama!_

_konichiwa! hm what to ask you... oh! I highly admire your intelligence! two questions!  
1.you didn't like you English dubbed voice at all huh? the old one...I can't wait to hear the new one!  
2.what were your emotions while you were partnered with sunawani? I honestly can't tell..._

_---Cheshiresphinx_

**Dear Chesiresphinx,**

**1) I do not want to say I 'hated' it, but it didnt exactly sound like my real voice, ne? I look forward to hearing my new dub as well.**

**2) Let's just say I did not enjoy it very much. **

_

* * *

__Yo, Robin._

_I've always wondered...if you can sprout any part of your body on any surface, then can you sprout another head? Oh, that would be creepy. And you probably can't grow anything on sea-stone, can you...oh well. By the by, you were cute as a little girl. I wanna hug you._

_It would be really creepy if you suddenly sprouted noses on a random surface. I certainly would be creeped out. And my sister once wondered if you could sprout arms on water. Hahah. What an idiot._

_-Sei-sama_

**Dear Sei-sama,**

**I dont think I can. My ability only always me to sprout indiviual body parts. I can, however, sprout eyes on my hands which is actually quite useful. And arugatou for the compliment.**

_

* * *

Dear Robin-san,_

_Heso!(i love the Sky people greeting so I'm using it. XD) Its cool that you'll be answering questions! Please answer the following:_

_1. Whats with the cowgirl hat? It just seems kind of random. I love your pimpn' cowgirl hat. XD_

_2. Is it true that you like to read alot? ( I love to)_

_3. Does anyone on the crew get on your nerves? Even if you've grown to like them all and you seem like a calm person, which one irks you sometimes?_

_4. How do you feel about the many Zoro x Robin fanfics out there? (I personally am not much of a fan on that pairing, though.)_

_Thank you for answering Robin-san!_

_Ja nee,_

_Mari-chan_

**Dear Mari-chan,**

**1) I suppose it was just apart of my outfit. **

**2) Yes, I love to read. It is a wonderful hobby and thing to do, ne?**

**3) I think the Mugiwara Kaizokun dan are prefect, just the way they are. We all have flaws, but even for them it is most amussing. Fufufu.**

_

* * *

Dear... Robin? Ah well..._

_Well, if you could kill anbody koff-zoro-koff who would you. And if i might make a sugestion, kill Zoro. Or Sanji before Cam does. I told him he could._

_Love from... Ia Swan! ;D_

**Dear Ia-swan,**

**I think to kill only when nessesary. In reality, who are we humans to decide another's fate?**

_

* * *

Dear Robin-san,  
Wow, I'm actually thinking about having a intelligent conversation with you. Since Zoro is not answering questions, I'll ask you 5.  
( Omg I didn't read the authors notes after I reviewed! Surprisingly...hey HS didn't bold them...not that it helps...)  
Anyways-  
1. Do you think Zoro will give me a piggy back ride anytime soon?  
2. I admire your sanity, how do you keep a level mind while living with idiots?  
3. How can you squeeze Franky's...um how do I say this? Fruit of his loins!! What gave you the thought of squeezing them!?  
4. Why do you always wear dark colored clothes?  
5. You seem to enjoy Sanji's attention, or is that just good acting?_

_Well there goes the intelligent conversation...Je Ne Robin-san!  
--SKZS_

**Dear SKZS,**

**1) I am not sure, SKZS-san.**

**2) I like to think their idiocy is entertainment. After all, they did save my life; Ill put up with anything after such a bold thing done like that.**

**3) Luffy really wanted Carpenter-san on the ship. I assumed it was a most persuasive choice to choose.**

**4) Im not sure I always do. When I borrowed Navigator-san's cloths, they were light colors.**

**5) Good acting, SKZS-san.**

_

* * *

Dear Robin,_

_Here's a few questions for you.  
:D_

_1.) Do you have any romantic interests right now? Because considering you are 28, my dad was married and had a kid already. I know it might get in the way of your pirate life, but still...Oh, and are you ever considering getting married?  
This will make it a LOT easier to make fan fics about pairings.  
:/_

_2.) What do you truly think of the males in your crew?_

_3.) Do you consider Nami as a best friend or a little sister?_

**Dear swingsetxmemory,**

**1) No, I do not find anyone attractive at the moment.**

**2) They are quite the bunch, swingset-san.**

**3) She does seem to take a liking in calling me 'Onee-sama'. Fufufu.**

_

* * *

Ah, crap. I reviewed for cp. 3 before I read the AN on cp. 4. Now my Zoro question shall be ignored. AND I WAS SANE FOR ONCE!_

_Hello, Robin-nee-san_

_1) Have you ever read a book called the Good Earth? It's actually very interesting!  
2) Would you mind sending me a few books about the Grand line and its history? I would like to learn more about the Grand Line.  
3) Do you find your crewmates and HS insane? Or just...interesting? Do you find ME a bit strange?_

---_ChainofDreams_

**Dear ChainofDreams,**

**1) No, I have never heard that book title before. Maybe I might look that up the next time we dock for the next island?**

_

* * *

How troublesome, its time to review. Zoro broke the mast again? How troublesome, although i have sympathy for him for being used like that to pay for the damages by Nami. She is just as evil as Sakura or Ino, they always manipulate men for thier own uses. Thank god your not like that, Robin. I hope. (Shudders)_

_Ok, question time. Here are some questions for you, Robin._

_1: How do you remain sane when you live with the antics of the straw hat crew day by day?_

_2: Have you ever heard of an archeoligist named Indiana Jones?(Just so you know, I am writing a story involving him, and you two turn into a pairing... whats your opinion on that?)_

_3: How did you get recruited by Crocodile into Barogue works?_

_4: If you hadnt joined Luffy's crew after the defeat of crocodile, do you think you would have been better off or worse than before you met Luffy?_

_5: How does it feel to probably be the only mature(and sane) crew member on the straw hat crew?_

_6: How did you feel about the 4Kids people giving you a southern accent on the english version of One Piece?_

_All right, last question. (Looks at list of questions, then blushes at the last one.) What a drag, do I have to ask it? All right, all right. This last question is not mine...partially, but some other people want to know it. Mainly Jiraiya, for his research. How I got suckered into asking this question, I will never know. Please, Robin-san, dont get the wrong idea about me for asking this. (Deep breath.)_

_7: Is it true that you can manipulate any part of your body? If so, does this mean you can also duplicate your breasts as well?_

_(Awkard silence) Like I said, this was a question from someone else. Man, what a drag that I had to ask that, please dont kill me..._

_Well, of that is it, then I guess i will do what i do best and go back to staring at the clouds. Oh, and HogwartShinobi, please check out my new Naruto story. (Watches clouds, then falls asleep)--z..._

_---Shikakun48_

**---Dear Shikakun48,**

**1) As I said before, Ive taken a liking to their company.**

**2) I have not heard of him, no. This pairing seems...Interesting...**

**3) He offered the job, I took it as an oppertunity.**

**4) Captain-san helped defeat the worst skeleton in my closet. I have so much to take him for. I do not think I'd even be happy without the help of the Mugiwaras.**

**5) I dont think I am the _only_ one. Nami and Zoro have their mature moments.**

**6) ...I dont think it quite fit...**

**7) ...Do I want to know why you're asking, Shikakun-san?**

_

* * *

__Oh,Robin's answering questions?! Kewl.This chicks soo hot!  
So Robin,who do you miss soo much right now?_

---_Katana-3000_

**Dear Katana-300,**

**I suppose I miss at the historians on my home island. Especially Prof Clover.**

* * *

_Ahem,haru Robin-san!_

_1.So,how are you today? Or tommorow? Or next week? Or maybe next month?  
Or perhaps next year? Or you know what,maybe next century?  
2.Tee hee! You are soo pretty and sexy!! How do you keep yourself like that?  
3.Are you planning on having kids after you achive your dreams?? Sound effects at the back!  
4.I hate studying!! XD How come you love studying?! (I'm jelous.. --)  
5.I had a dream last night that the world was controlled by evil alien robots!! Ah! Hide me  
Robin-san!_

_---Tashina,_

**Dear Tashina,**

**1) I am doing fine at the moment. As for the future? I will not know till that happens, will I?**

**2) Arigatou. I just eat the special meals Cook-san enjoys serving.**

**3) Possibly. I will think about that when it happens.**

**4) I suppose it's because that is the environment I grew up in. Everyone was always studious.**

**5) Umm?**

_

* * *

(dramatic entrance) im back (muahahahahaha)_

_1. what would you do if family guy came to life and followed you around for a week nonstop?_

_2. what would you do if you were a bunny for a day? (BUNNY!)_

_3. i like cereal :)_

**Dear Evil Tanako,**

**1) ...I am not sure, Tanako-san.**

**2) Again, I am not very sure. I will figure a way to deal with the situtation if or when it comes.**

**3) That is good for you, Tanako-san.**

_

* * *

Dear Robin-san,_

_Um, sorry if this sounds perverted, but I have a question about your clothes: Skintight leather pants? Doesn't that chafe?_

_Mr. Thumbsup_

**Dear Mr. Thumbsup,**

**In the anime world, no.**

_

* * *

Nee-san!  
I read the authors notes! It has been PROVEN and I am also sane. Anyway my question; Didn't Zoro look cute holding three babies and wearing the 'Mama' T-shirt? It was way too small for him. -sighs- so hilarious...  
((from episode 317...i think...))_

_Anyway...JA NE!_

**Dear Oni Giri Slash,**

**Fufufu, it was quite amussing, wasnt it? **

**(HS: 318, by the way)**

_

* * *

Yes, after a short hiatus caused by having Zoro fangirls repeatedly beat the chin off of me...I HAVE RETURNED!!_

_Dear Hana-sama,_

_Sorry, Hana-sama, but it looks like your going to have to deal with me today..._

_1.Ne ne, is it true that when your limbs "de-bloom" they leave a lingering sweet smell?_

_2.Ne, Pop quiz! Listen up class! Who is the biggest cat in the world?_

_3.Riddles are fun! How would you react if I told you I've had the Rio Poneglyph in my pocket this whole time?!_

_-The knowlegeble ninja, Mr. 4_

**Dear Mr. 4,**

**Interesting name...**

**1) Yes, it is true. The scent of blossoms.**

**2) Um...I do not know the answer to you question, Mr.4-san.**

**3) That would be quite exciting. But since it has been a few weeks since this has been updating- It would been unusal for it to still be there, ne?**

_

* * *

__Dear Historian-san,  
Can I ask you something? Something slightly more important than your crush? ...Can you see beauty in people's souls? You seem like the type. And, if so, am I beautiful? big eyes_

**Dear Saiyan Angie,**

**Fufufu, you seem quite beautiful, Saiyan-san. Not to mention lively and youthful.**

* * *

_yo, Robin-nee-san!  
bye robin-nee-san!  
i have no questions... i can't think of any questions... damn... the itunes thing is so slow... personally i think it's the burned CD my friend made for me... WHY! WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT TO ME! WHY MUST SHE MAKE ME SUFFER BY WAITING FOR THE DAMN SONGS TO IMPORT! WHY! WHY! WHY! ahem... yea, i think haramaki is right... i am insane... i'm 3xpyroxkatanas btw... just in case people thought i never did this... ja ne!_

**Dear TsukixTaiyo,**

**Um. Well then.**

* * *

_Wouldn't ya know it? Someone else asking questions is actually sane. Anyway._

_1. What do you think of Zoro? Honestly, cuz it'd be nice to get some facts straight._

_2. What's your favorite kind of coffe?_

_3. What would you do if all of a sudden, you woke up and your hair was green?_

_4.Sanity...refreshing, huh?_

_-Amaxing_

**Dear Amaxing,**

**1) What I think of him? Such a simple question with many intricate answers...I suppose he's a very driven, determined person.**

**2) Plain with cream and sugar is fine.**

**3) That would be quite the predicament...**

**4) Yes, Amaxing-san. Yes it is.**

_

* * *

Robin-chan! YAY!! OH MY GOSH!! I have ALWAYS wanted to talk to you! ahem Right. Serious.. must act civilized.. OH BUT YOU ARE SO COOL!! I'M SUCH A FAN!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!! ROBIN ROBIN YATTA!! YAY!! Okay, okay I'll TRY to bring it down a bit. R-robin-chan. Eto.. oh, gosh I'm so excited. I don't know what to say! Um erm.. Well you're my second favorite character in One Piece, and you would be first if I didn't love Sanji-san! But you're so cool! You're like a role model! Okay, so um.._

_1) What is your favorite flower?  
2) What is your favorite thing to eat?_

_... E!! Robin you're so cool! I cosplayed as you for this anime parade and I totally will do it again!! YOU'RE AWESUME!! Sorry, I'm such a dork! ._

_YOU ARE TRANSCENDENT!  
Dalesrose_

_p.s. Transcendent is a good thing in case you were wondering fille stupid! (fille stupid is Zoro not Robin)_

**Dear Dalerose,**

**1) The Sakura trees in the spring are lovely, in my opinion.**

**2) I am not sure I have a favorite food, but I do love coffee.**

**

* * *

**

Gahhhhhhh...So many questions :P Thank you for helping out, Robin-nee-chan!

Robin: No problem, matchmaker-san -smiles-

Whelp, back to boring old Zoro -.-

Zoro: OI!


	6. Edition 5

_Welcome back old frined... now to all sereoiusnes, I jsut turned 21... and I have two questions. First off, how do you deal with hang overs... I'm sondering so I can get tips the first time I drink. And 2nd... your 19 right? Is the age to drink lower where you come from? That's been bugging me. Thanks for answering._

_---Emma Iveli_

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

* * *

_HIYA ZORO! WAZZUP!?!?!_

Anyway, now that my sanity's under control, what's the meaning of life?  
2.Did you know that the bug crawling up your leg is named jeff. JEFF!  
3. thre! what's your favorite color, Zo-kun?

Fear the insanity!  
ArtemisBlack

**Dear ArtemisBlack555,**

**1. When you find the answer to that, lemme know.**

**2. Yeah-There isnt.**

**3. I dont pay attention to those petty details, really.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro,  
Um...Mr. Roronoa, are you, in truth, always angry? Just a question, you see. Nothing personal. I still personally find you driven and an overall good person regardless of your answer, but... Oh, nevermind._

Hesitantly yours,  
Saiyan Angie a.k.a. Glitched

**Dear Saiyan Angie,**

**Hn? Always angry? What makes you think that?? Ive smiled before!!**

* * *

_Hi Boring Old Zoro!_

Haha, you old geezer! Even if Robin is older than you...uh...WHATEVER!

I know that you can talk through that sword in your mouth with SPIRIT. But I've always wondered, can your SPIRIT run out? Then would you just make muffled sounds while trying to talk and fight? Hahaha! And how does a SPIRIT run out anyways?

UPDATE FASTER!

_----Sei-sama_

**Dear Sei-sama,**

**That's like asking why Luffy never gets full like the bottomless pit he is.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro,_

I am Boneyboy of the Boneyboy and Curleyblue duo. Curleyblue is my sister.

Zoro: Is it true you have problems with women in the navy? Cause I got pics of a one night fling with tashigi, from Sanji if you wanna kill him.

- Boneyboy

**Dear Boneyboy,**

**(HS: ...Well someone's off their rocker.)**

**I do not know if you've actually seen my interaction with that girl, you know very well that I do not feel comfortable around her. Why on earth would I do such an unhonorable thing!?**

* * *

_Dear My Sweet Marimo-kun!_

yes...boring old Zoro...XD omg i havent reviewed in forever, but ive cooked up a few questions:

1.) Do you like to swim? Cuz i know you have to in order to save Luffy when he falls overboard and stuff, but do you like to swim in your free time?

2.) Did you know you hair is a crayon? Called Zoro? Is it your favorite color?

3.) Did you know HS loves you?

4.) Why are you so mean to Usopp?(in latest episode)

5.) What kind of shampoo do you use in the shower? ...just wondering...like do you have a special shampoo to make your hair green?

6.) When will you give SKZS a piggy back ride?

_---Lilygirl33_

**Dear LilyGirl33,**

**1) Sure, I guess. when we stop by islands and places like that, It's a good work out.**

**2) Is that so? Hn.**

**3) "..." (HS: LIES! ALL LIES!)**

**4) I was only stating the truth. Usopp left on his own and if he thought he could just waltz right back to us and expect us to accept him again he had another thing coming. There was no way I was going to let him come back without an apology. But obviously he missed us if he had enough to scream loud enough to make all of Water 7 to hear...**

**5) Does Sakura us something special for HER hair?**

**6) No. I will not now nor ever give ANYONE a 'piggyback ride'.**

* * *

_Ahem! My question..  
1.Can you play basket ball?  
2.Can you play the guitar?  
3.Do you love going to beaches when yer uhm.. in an island and watch the sunset?  
4.If you're going to have a girlfriend,are you going to be soo romantic towards her:3  
5.What do you think is more stronger between the two sexes? A man or a woman?_

_---Tashiro_

**Dear Tashiro,**

**1. I know the basics of pretty much every basic sport. You know, you've seen the soccer and baseball specials!**

**2. If I did Luffy wouldnt stop bugging me more then he does now.**

**3. Is this a question for your personal benefit?**

**4. I knew it.**

**5. I do not see gender (That was NOT directed at my orientation). I think a woman can be just as strong as a man or vice versa so long as one trains and has enough determination.**

* * *

_Oi Zoro! Don't run away, I'm sane! Anywho..._

1. Do you prefer any kind of sake over another? Or is it all just grog to you?

2. Do you play the saw? You know, like an instrument? Because it just seems like it would fit you.

3. Has being on the same ship with Sanji for so long made you more perverted?

4. What's with Johnny and Yosaku? How were you ever partnered with those weaklings?

5. What would you do if you became a blond?

6. And finally, do you have ANY recollection of your parents whatsoever? If so, you should have a flashback about them. No, go on, I'll wait. ...

-Amaxing

**Dear Amaxing,**

**1. It's all pretty much alcohol.**

**2. No. No I dont.**

**3. ...What do you mean MORE perverted?**

**4. Friends in kendo. And you call yourself a fan... -.-**

**5. Killing myself wouldnt be good enough.**

**6. /Roronoa Zoro stares at Amaxing**

* * *

_Dear Bucket head(Zoro teh ebil marimo)_

i just read "psyco on the going merry". youre ticklish, eh...? (evil grin) (tickles) I WONT STOP! BWAHAHA!

anyway, you and skie make a great couple! REALLY! (pinches ur cheek) you and hew wook so keeyoot... aww, zowo got a giwlfwiend...

umm... marshmallow?

anyway, SEEYA MARSHMALLOW-FACED MARIMO!

--takono

**Dear Tanako,**

**...She does know this story doesnt relate to anyone elses...Right?**

**(HS: Whatever.)**

* * *

_Ah, Hana-sama! Hana-sama! Where art though Hana-sama?!_

sigh..guess it's back to boring old Bushidomarimo-chan...

Dear Bushidomarimo-chan,

Boo boo, the correct answer to "who is the biggest cat in the world?" is Herculese the Liger(such a cute kitty!)

1.What are you?

2. Who made your swords

3.Oda-sensei is tre awsome, no?

_Mr. 4_

**Dear Mr. 4,**

**1. That's not very specific. Do you mean race, occupation, orientation, species, spirit, zodiac sign, animal/AU/other life form or origin?**

**2. That's for me to know and you to watch the series for.**

**3. Well I cant disagree. But I think we could have done without the perverted chef.**

* * *

_Dear Zolo_

You are so cool! I hate Sanji!

Do you have a steady girlfriend?

Would you consider dating me? Would you consider dating Tashigi?

Did you have a crush on Kuina? Do you think Tashigi and Kuina are the same person?

Have you ever asked Tashigi If she has a real identity called Kuina? I think you rock!

-Mischief Maiden

P.S. You should dress sanji up into a girl while he's sleeping and put make-up on him!

* * *

**Dear mischiefmaiden,**

**Zo...Lo?**

**(HS: OW! Everytime someone says Zolo Im the one that ends up getting hit!)**

**I wouldnt consider dating anyone, My personal life has nothing to do with this Ask Column and I will never ask Tashigi anything is a formal fashion.**

* * *

_YOU UPDATED!_

Dear Meat Head,  
I have five very important questions for you, Zozo, and they are all listed by the order in importance!! Got it?!

1. Can I have a piggyback ride?

2. Can I have a piggyback ride now?

3. Can I have a piggyback ride now?

4. How about now?

5. I'm sure 120 cyber pounds won't kill you, unless you  
re a wuss. Are you?

...Should I run and hide now??

BYE!  
SKZS

**Dear SKZS,**

**No- Just. No.**

* * *

_Ok... Since Zoro's back, YAY! Now I can torment him!  
Alright... Dear Zoro...  
Bad News and Good News! The Bad news (for you) is that Skie's now a Zoro-Fangirl and I've written another 50 ways to annoy the hell out of you, if you have the chance, read it! (LOL) Now, the Good News is that I will always and forever will be a Sanji-Fangirl. So, there you have it. Now, Question Time! What would you do if you met Captain Jack?_

Thanks!  
No Love from Ia-Swan!

**Dear Ia-swan,**

**How...Is any of that good news for me?**

**Captain Jack? Who the hell is that?**

* * *

_Zoro isn´t so borin, come on and respect my user name, ne.  
Okay questions for Zoro!  
1.-Do you use special tooth paste? I had my boyfriend try to use santorryu to test my theory and now he´s broke up with me(yep I´m another insane one)  
2.-When do you guys of OP shower, I mean, the last time I noticed it was Alabasta...--  
3.-KISS LUFFY AND SEND ME A PHOTO, NOT A REQUEST._

**Dear Roronoa-Girl,**

**1. Well look at that...**

**2. You Do realize there IS a shower on this ship, right?**

**3. Not a request? What is that suppose to mean?**

* * *

_Dear Zoro-kun_

First of...ZORO-KUN! -glomps-

ok, I'm done with that,

Second, what do you thinka bout you and Sanji being the most popular pairing in One Piece?

Three: What do you think of this? -shows yaoi sanji and Zoro story where Zoro's the uke and Sanji's the Seme- (I DIDN'T WRITE IT I SWEAR! TT.TT I know you're not gay...

Four: I've seen a lot of ZoroxOC's arund here. What's your idea of the perfect woman?

That's all! Ja ne!

-FireThief

**Dear Fire Thief,**

**Is that the most popular? I'd like to see the statistics for that.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro,_

-gasp- Theres a sequal...-faints- wow, and it took me THIS long to figure it out, sorry T3T

well, I'm supposed to ask a question, so I think I will...  
Zoro, do you yourself every read any fanfictions?

Thanks a bunch, hope I can ask you another question soon! X3

- Angstlover

**Dear Angstlover,**

**No HS showed me one chapter of a lemon and I accidently sliced her laptop screen.**

**(HS: You're so lucky that one was on warrenty.)**

* * *

_WHAT? I missed four issues of this/flails/_

Anyway, dear Zoro,

A few questions popped into my head, and I would like to take this time to aggravate you with them.

So what do you think of the new theme song? The non-rap one that doesn't make you want to jab at your ears with an ice pick.

And!

You always shy away from women, so if you don't mind me asking, what is your idea of the ideal woman? It's really been bugging me, for crying out loud.

Yours accordingly, Amaya.

**Dear Amaya Zorifuki,**

**I think the theme was definitly better then the previous. But I dont really care because watching myself on the screen is really strange. And who is the bastard that says I shy away from women?! Just because I dont dote and swoon and fawn over them doesnt mean I think they're 'icky'. Sheesh.**

* * *

_Wow. I look at the questions asked on here and. Just- wow...Oh any by thw way if you didnt see your question answered on here it wasnt because I missed it. It was because it's called 'Ask Zoro'. Not everyone else. I have specials every so often to where you can, but please. Stick to Zoro. And originally, I indended this to be and ADVICE column. Not a place where you can ask personal questions you KNOW I dont have the answer to. You call claim to know he's not gay- stop asking why he suppodedly is. And maybe nobody reads the news paper anymore, but Ask columns are letters. That's why I ask you to write in letter format. I see other fanfics like this (still pissed about that) and they have enteries with long ass lists with the stupidest questions Ive ever seen. Ive been working on these the longest to where Im tired of putting up with that crap. Please, do me a favor and USE PROPER GRAMMAR. You want me to update more? Stop acting like you're a five-year-old that just learned how to spell. More importantly to you over-obsessed, clingy, 'I f-cked a can of extra strong coffee this morning' fangirls- Realize that ZORO IS NOT REAL AND THAT I AM A GIRL MYSELF!!!! -eye twitch-_

_...That is all._


	7. Edition 6 And an Announcment

_Dear Moss-Head,  
You don't mind me calling you that, right? Advice wise, I've got this piece of gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe (and these shoes are awesome and irreplaceable), and bloody heck, it won't come off. What do I do?! _

Your pal,  
Skie 

**Dear Skie,**

**I suggest using a pencil. HS's works just fine.**

* * *

_yo _

sorry...(sweatdrop)

1. imagine SANJI and you switched personalities...YOUD BE A LOVE-SWORDSMAN!

2. whos the closest to you as a friend on the ship?

3. if chopper was your pet, what tould you train him to do? 

_---The Evil Tanako_

**Dear The Evil Tanako,**

**1) ...Uh. Right then.**

**2) I'd have to say Luffy, if anyone. As annoying as he may be I suppose you cant help but like him. He's my captain after all.**

**3) ...Nothing? He can already talk and preform surgery...

* * *

**

_Dear My-Sweet-Marimo-kun! _

Hi! Me again! I do very much agree with HS on the grammer, and stupid question things, though every once in a while i like to ask a couple random personal questions too. Anyway!

So, i have this friend lets say his name is 'Bob'. And he likes another one of my friends. Well say her name is 'Mary'. ok. so one day Bob emails me and tells me he likes Mary and wants to ask her out. I tell him i will play match-maker and to give me a week or two to talk with Mary.

Two days later Bob emails me again and says he asked Mary out over and email and she hasnt replied yet. I am frusterated with him, i send him alot of adive about how he should have asked her out. He asks me what he should do. I tell him to wait and i'll talk with Mary. Next thing i know Bob has gone and sent Mary ANOTHER email asking her out.

Basically i need to know what the FRICK goes on in guys's heads! I give him a thourgh explination on how the female mind works, and he doesnt even listen and does the opposite of what i told him to do! So will you please explain?

-Lilygirl33 

**Dear LilyGirl33,**

**Im not too good about romance, but with a male's mind and countless times catching HS watching stupid love-like movies, Ill inform you on this. This 'Bob' person seems shy and too unconfident to to go and ask 'Mary' face to face. People act different over the internet since nobody has to face anyone. Assuming you actually go to school, I suggest one of those 'Tell him and tell her to meet in a place they dont know the other one's going to' sort of things. I know HS has done that with people countless times. It probably wont work in this case, but then again, its better to have them just talk. Perferably not where many people or her friends are around so 'Bob' doesnt feel too overpowered. Men dont like how woman travel in packs...I know I dont. Especially when just Nami, Robin and Sanji are on the ship.**

**((HS: SEE! Everyone would probably get a long, decent paragraph or two if you just ask reasonable and realistic questions!!! FOLLOW LG'S EXAMPLE -eye twitch- ...Oh and I had to help Zoro with that one ;D))

* * *

**_  
Dear Bushidomarimo-chan, _

1.Ah, but the real question is: Why are you?...although, I suppose, it can be answered simply enough...

2.Is chivalry dead?

3...What a depressing day...Well, I'm off to see Perona!

eccentrically yours,  
The Intolerable Mr. 4 

**Dear Mr. 4,**

**1) To be honest, Mr. 4, Im too lazy to look back at other chapters and figure out what you're trying to say... **

**/HogwartShinobi smacks Roronoa Zoro**

**2) I know it is in _your_ world.**

**3) /Roronoa Zoro sweatdrops/ I dont think that will help any...

* * *

**

_HI!  
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO CAPTAIN JACK IS!?  
Gr... I hate you...  
Do you ever get sick? Like illness, not just of me... like to the point where you will kill me (do not)...  
What would you do if you found Skie asleep?_

_STILL no love from Ia-Chan_

**Dear Ia-chan,**

**To the first question, I do not get 'sick'. Sick is for the weak-hearted.**

**To the second, I would just walk right by.

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro,_

_First of all...How are you?  
What's your favourite part of the Thousand Sunny?  
According to the author notes at the bottome of Edition 5 HS is losing it...(Hi HS -)...what are your thoughts?  
One last question...do you think Brooke-bones will join the crew? I LOVE that guy!_

_Have a super special awesome day!_

_Oni Giri Slash_

**First question, I am decent, thank you, actually.**

**My favorite part of the Thousand Sunny. Eh, probably the weightroom in the crows' nest.**

**((HS: I DID NOT LOSE IT!!))**

**I personally dont give a damn. Unless of course it's something completely off topic and insulting. **

**Luffy's heart seems set to have Brooke join. And you know how _that_ works out.

* * *

**

_'ello, Mr. Zoro-baka. _

Reading one letter reminded me of something I've done once a while back. My friend was playing Gyakugen Saiban 3 on the DS, and there is this one part where they go to a French restaurant. The sign was Tres Bien. So then I said, "Oh! Tres means three, doesn't it?"

My friend said, "No it doesn't. It means 'Very'. The whole phrase means 'Very Good.'" "Oh." There was a silence, and then..."You know, Maya actually says that." "GWAH?! I'M ON THE SAME LEVEL AS MAYA?!"

And that's what happened. So what was my question? I forgot. But I like Lee Greenwood's version of The Battle Hymn of the Republic. I wanna make an AMV out of it. OH! I KNOW! YOU WERE BALD AND YOU SAT DOWN TO SLEEP ONE DAY AND YOU SLEPT FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR AND MOSS GREW ON YOUR HEAD! THAT'S WHY IT'S GREEN! 

_Sei-Sama_

**Dear Sei-Sama,**

**You should get a white jacket. I hear you can get them at this place called an 'asylum'.

* * *

**

_Dear Roronoa-sama,_

_Oi...I am obviously one of the infected many of the "Zoro fangirl pandemic", though I assure you I'm not frothing out the mouth...er, yeah. But have caution--I am a blonde teenage girl. It never hurts to be careful._

_Well here are my questions:  
1. What sort of advice would you give to an aspiring martial artist?  
2. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? O.o  
3. What would YOU do if life gave you lemons?_

_- Savannah_

**Dear Savannah,**

**1) I suppose just give it your all, practice hard and do not let anything stop you from achieving your goals.**

**((HS: She question advice for a martial artist, not a swordsman with an Emo-tastic past.))**

**Shut up.**

**2) Depends on the wood, the wood chucker and how much the woodchuck would chuck consider if it already chucked some previously before the question was asked.**

**3) ...Go to sleep?

* * *

**

_Jee! Wow! grinns I dunno why I'm grinning.So anyway,I see.. err  
read that you've got a new sword,huh? Hmm.Shuusui was it?? Cool!  
Anyway,where's Yubashiri?? Don't tell me that yer going to throw it away!! _

Oh gasp! Give it back to that old weird guy from Loguetown and tell him how Yuba was soo usefull and.. you know.. all that crap.Whatever.Hmm.. Oh yeah,see there's this another 'Ask Zoro' thing and this 'Zoro' said that Tashigi and Kuina are the most  
frustrating woman that he met.

I was soo off!! Ahem.. ahem! So uhm.. do they frustrate you? Hm? 

_----LonelyRage_

**Dear LonelyRage,**

**Yubashiri didnt get thrown away. It broke.**

_----------_

_Heya Zozo! _

Will ya dress Sanji up in drag for me and tell me his reation? please? I won't bug you about Kuina and Tashigi anymore!  
Bye!

P.s. Why do you sleep so much? is it because yopu drink so much 

_----mischiefmaiden_

**Dear Mishchiefmaiden,**

**...You know I dont even no _my_ reaction to this...

* * *

**_Dear Zoro,_

_Wow, HS knows how to get the point across. I hope people actually read that one. So I guess I'll make use of this 'advice' column and actually ask advice. Here goes nothing, you better give me some damn good advice._

_So one Friday we were in the pool swimming okay? Well I'm a competative swimmer so I'm one of the fastest. My guy friends and all are kinda sore losers at the game ' Sharks and Minos' so they like to team up on me when I'm the only Mino left. Well some of them are really strong and are just too much for me. Well on Friday I forgot my goggles and I managed to be the top three again. Zach (one of my best guy buddies, a wresler and a football player)jumps on me on accident and smashes my face into the cement wall. The next thing you know I'm bawling like a baby and my face in practically purple. I didn't crack my nose, but I still hate crying period, but I couldn't help it. Is it okay to cry sometimes when you constantly tell yourself crying is for the weak?_

_-SKZS_

**Crying is not for the weak, the weak do not cry.**

**((HS: Dude! You just contridicted yourself with the whole 'being sick is for the weak'!))**

**Shut up, Im not finished. Anyway, Im sure if the same thing happened to one of you male friends, they would let a few tears out too. Dont think men dont cry. You havent seen Sanji when Nami rejects him -.-**

**...See! I had about a paragraph and a half to say, and you killed it, HS! Way to go.**

**((HS: WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE _WANT_ FROM ME?!))

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro,_

_So. Um. Are you the sadistic type of person when it comes (or came, rather) to pirate hunting? Or did you REALLY just do it for the money? 'Cuase I don't think one meal would cost 10 million Beli...unless the owner's insane._

_Oh, and do you like your new FUNimation voice? I do. I like it WAY better than your 4Kids voice. But they still have to call you Zolo... -mumbles- ...Stupid copyrights..._

_And on a final note, who'd you rather throw off the ship—Luffy or Sanji? Or maybe both...?_

_—Salem-sama_

**Dear Salem-sama,**

**True, tem million isnt just one meal, but then again sometimes I dont turn them in. I just toss their body to the owner and let him take the guy to the Marines, so long as I get my food. And since we've been getting more famous, I dont have a ability to turn in other pirates to the law. They'd just book me as well. Too troublesome.**

**Definitly Sanji. Im sure I could convince Luffy to get another chef...

* * *

**_BAKA-CHAN! _

1: I was talking about all the times you and sanji fight ya moron  
2: How to keep an idiot busy. see number 3.  
3: How to keep an idiot busy. see number 2. 

_---Kai-razy_

**Kai-razy,**

**1) Hn?**

**2) How to make Kai-razy people quiet. Boot to the head.

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro...again,_

_I have a two friends who pronounce 'manga' wrong, and it kills me inside whenever they say it. My other friends are taking after them, and it makes me insane. I never talk about manga anymore because when I prounounce it the 'right' way, they yell at me. Any advice on how to tell them without exploding on them about it? Thanks as always, hope you can give me some good advice!_

_-Angst lover_

**Dear Angst lover,**

**I dont mean too seem cliche, but 'if they were really your friends they would understand'. In other words, toughen up and tell'em what Oda likes it to be. And even then I would be just plain embarassed. Imagine them taking to my creator saying manga constantly wrong. Im sure he would favorite you.**

**

* * *

**

"Is that all?"

"Oh can it. We havent updated in forever."

Zoro grunted, standing up and strolling over to the fridge. The bottles in the door raddled slightly as he opened it. "You know, drinking will kill you if Mihawk doesnt." HS grumbled.

"Oh go bother Sanji with his smoking addiction, will you?"

"Yeah, then Ill lecture Luffy on how eating meat is 'bad'."

SPLASH!

The two turned toward the aquarium and sweatdropped. Luffy sunk to the bottom like the anchor he was. Crazy boy. As usual, one of the other crew members saved him. This time, it being Sanji of Baratie. He scooped up the Captain before spotting HS.

"HS-CHWAAAAAAN!" He called. HS blinked as the air bubbles left his mouth from his water-blocked call.

"You know..." HS started. "Im knew to this whole anime thing...but arent you suppose to hold your breath underwater or is that a 'my world' thing?"

"No. That applies here too." Zoro replied casually, taking a swig of rum. HS made a 'o' shape with her mouth before watching Sanji gasp for air and quickly swim to the surface. HS simply shook her head in amusment and spun back around in her barstool chair, shutting her laptop closed.

"Now, I guess-"

_"Zoro, HS- We're pulling into port, Luffy wants to eat out."_ The voice of Nami echoed through the kitchen as she spoke through the intercom system. The two gathered their things and headed up on the middle deck. Along with the others (after Sanji and Luffy had a chance to change out of their wet clothing and into some dry ones), HS and Zoro blinked as the sun rose high and strong above them.

"When did we enter Summer Island territory?" Chopper questioned since he had been cooped up in his office all day like Zoro and HS were in the kitchen. Nami glanced up at the sky. "About an hour, hour in a half." She replied.

"Yoshe!" Luffy cheered, jumping into the air and locking arms with Usopp and Chopper. "We're going to the island, we're going to the island!" They sang.

Zoro looked over his shoulder at them. "Why are they so pumped up?"

"This is an island where the people here are like HS-san." Robin informed, placing her sunhat neatly on her head.

"You mean the islanders are Mary-sues?!" HS asked, astonished.

"And Gary-stews as well."

"Sugoi..."

"Yoshe!" There was a clap as Franky pulled his arms together, forming the full stars on his tattoos. "Reuinted with fellow family, you must be excited, ne, HS?"

The girl didnt try to hide it, "I didnt know there were any other Authors in One Piece!" She exclaimed. "Let's go, let's go! I want to see!"

* * *

**I smell an 'Ask Zoro special' Bwahahaha! Let's see the other Ask Columns do _this_!**

**...And that wasnt a challenge- Copy and I will kill you.**


	8. Chapter 7 and an Apology

Holy god Im alive?!

Unfortunately, because I feel super bad right now. I was up to about the sixth reviewer's questions when I realized something; There is no freaking way Im going to be able to incoperate all these people into a super special awesome adventure! It's physically impossible for my brain. So with all my heart, I am sorry and and I know it's let down and makes me seem like a jerk to other 'ask column' authors, but Ill just have to answer this column regularly. SO so so so so SORRY Dx Forgive me?

PS, Im a bit rusty O.O

* * *

_Ahem! 'neweyz,Zoro-san,you didn't answer my question awhile ago.  
Lemme ask ya again.Does Kuina and Tashigi frustrate you?  
Also,I didn't ask you for this so you could tell me that yer 'madly inlove with them',which is impossible for a man like you.I just asked you well.. because.. I dunno.. Just curiosity I suppose.._

_Aw well! Hehe! Thanks though._

_--LonelyRage_

**Dear LonelyRage,**

**Annoying girls always wanting to know about that Tashigi and Kunia. Especially with _me!_ Hasn't anyone told you curiousity killed the cat?**

* * *

_So my sister sat on my homework and it sorta ripped and I'm sorta angry at her, and I made sure she knew, but I don't think she gets it. Hahahahaha. So what should I do if that actually had happened?_

...This probably won't be entered in the next chapter but...

--LABBU SEI-SAMA!

**Dear Sei-sama,**

**If it actually happened? She didn't sit on your homework then? I dont get this. I want beer. Is it raining outside?**

* * *

_Dear Bushidomarimo-chan,_

_1.Do you know the way to San Jose?_

_2...Great I seem to be aflicted with I-can't-stop-thinking-about-Shojo-bursting-into-song-appendicitis...What do you recommend?_

_3. Right, so am I invited to your and HS's weddi-GAH!! PUT DOWN THAT AXE, HS!slash-crash-scream...BOM!...Oh dear, HS broke the mast..._

_Getting the Shojo outta here,  
The intracible Mr. 4_

**_Dear Mr. 4,_**

**_1) Was that a retorical question?_**

**_2) I recommend you and all the other crazy fangirls to a damn good therapist._**

**_3) You can bet Im not paying for that one._**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro_

_My last latter seems to have gotten lost in the mail, because I can't seem to find it here. Oh well, all I did was say you were asexual like me. But forget about it, I need some advice._

_You see, my school is doing these resume things, and I don't want to lie about them. But it might be a bit wierd if I put down exorsism and black magic on a resume, considering I've given it up. Still, I don't want to lie about it, what should I do?_

_And eh, while I'm on that subject, do you have a good remedy for getting rid of killer quirrels?_

_Thank you for your advice- Amaya.**Dear Amaya,**_

**_I suggest...Not putting down exorsism and black magic? Maybe something subtle. Like attending a therapist weekly perhaps? And killer squirrels... You're on your own for that one!_**

_Dear Zoro,  
1. What is your favorite kind of music and what is your favorite artist.  
2. And would you be willing to make a deal, I give you freedom, in exchange for... a confession, who do you secretly have a crush on? (and I won't take no one for an answer, Or I'll Keep pestering you MUIHAHAAHAA!)  
3. You've been to the Naruto world right, who would you pick a fight with, and Shikamaru says Hi from My headquarters.  
4.You know, I have a clone of you at my base, he thinks you're cool, even if he has hangovers from drinking most of the time.  
Consider my offer,  
Boneyboy_

**Dear Boneyboy,**

**1) Music? I dont have time for music. Between sleeping, eating, and putting up with Luffy - There isnt enough hours in the day.**

**2) Hm. Interesting offer. I'd consider, but then again I dont have this pestering 'crush' you all insist I have.\**

**3) A ninja vs. pirates fight question in the One Piece category? We'd kick all their asses!**

**4) Ha, cant handle his alcohol, eh? Typical imposter.**

__

Dear Greensword,  
Hello! Happy special addition! Didja know that it's gonna be meh birthday soon? YAYEZ! Here are ze questions:  
1)What is your favourite colour?  
2)If you had to choose one of these names which one would you choose? Swordscar, Greensword, Greenclaw, Mossclaw, Mosshead, Dunk-in-coffeeheart or Whiskerwind?  
3)What do I do if I have an emo teddy bear? (His name is Big Bob)  
4)Please rant on about how girls can be great swordsman too! I like it and don't stop him HS!  
-Peppertail of Leafclan

**Dear Peppertail,**

**1) ...You think it's green dont you?**

**/Roronoa Zoro stares skeptically.**

**2) I dont even want to know where you came up with half of those.**

**3) Id make sure to keep all sharp objects away. God forbid he spills stuffing everywhere.**

**4) Gender shouldnt matter for skills period.**

* * *

_HiHi Zozo!_

Why didn't you have a reaction to it? And why won't you dress Sanji up in drag?

**Dear mischiefmaiden,**

**...No...J-Just no.**

* * *

_Dear My-Sweet-Marimo-kun!_

_Well, ive finnally straited out the Bob-Mary thing, it turns out that Mary already has a boyfriend, your adivce worked only...not on the right guy. Bob is now heartbroken, but i know another girl that would be perfect for him .-_

_So anyway, what i wanted to ask is that i have a NEW 'situation' that need attention..._

_See, there are these three guys that all have crushes on me(i know this cuz they told my friend who told me) so i know them through this thing outside of school and whenever we seen eachother at this 'club', we're like the best of friends hanging out and having fun._

_But IN school its a totally different story, unless i say hi to them, they pretend im not there. Its rather rude and annoying actually, I was just wondering, why do they love me outside of school but ignore me inside?_

_-Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**...Are you seriously asking a guy on dating advice?**_

* * *

_

_Dear Fairy-Chan (I'm calling Zoro Fairy-Chan and Zac Oni-Chan) (did I spell Oni right?)_

Anyway, you know how Skie's always annoying the helk outa you? Well, I'm giving you permision to seek any revenge on Skie as long as she stays alive. What would you do?

THE Ia-Chan has spoken, fools. ;D

**Dear Ia-chan.**

**I'd rid her of sugar. Forever.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro,_

What are your views of the gay/lesbian/bi cummunity?

-Tasha

**Dear Tasha,**

**You know what, as long as no one's hitting on me the world can do whatever it wants!**

* * *

_Dear Zoro-chan,_

_Hi, miss me square forehead? X). You know in Alabasta, you were the only one who didn't receive Nami's Happiness Punch XD.  
1.If you were gay who would be your love interest?  
2.If a girl had a crush on you (not fangirl crushes) what would you do?  
4.If you turned into a girl and had feelings for Sanji? That would hilarious.  
5. Do you like mohawks? -evil smirk-_

_-Akizakura_

**_Dear Akizakura,_**

**_1) A more appropriate question - If I was interesting in ANYONE, who would it be?_**

**_2) ...I dont know. What am I suppose to do?_**

**_3) Funny, I thought three came after two._**

**_4) MENTAL IMAGE! Scary place in my head now!_**

**_5) The smirk concerns me._**

_

* * *

_

_Hey Zoro,_

_It's Been a while. I was wondering how the ol' Marimo was doing. Happy Belated Birthday, By the way. Here's my question. How would you feel if HS dressed as Tashigi? and HS, Would you Enjoy it?_

**Dear CheshireSphinx,**

**That would be weird. I'd wonder what she was scheming about. There'd have to be a suspious reason...**

**((HS: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PLAYING AT! CURSE YOU!))**

_Dear Zoro-kun,  
First time writer here. My question is more of a reflection. It seems to me that perhaps three swords is you trying to compensate for something. Like Mihawk's rather long sword or Napoleon's ridiculously large sarcophagus... sorry off topic. But honestly, Shanks is awesome with just a regular old saber. That's a REAL MAN! ...  
I'm still a fan, but really. Three? Is there something you need to make up for? Is that it?  
Please don't kill me,  
Listless in LA_

**Dear Listless in LA,**

**Im not making up for anything! Three swords takes some badass skill, thank you very much.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro,  
Hn. Good to have a nice advice colum. Better to do it on the ship, rathar then trapped in HS's house?_

_What would your reaction be to a ballerina Sanji, that sings his love about you, and claims he wants a threesome with you and Nami? What about an Emo Luffy? If you had enver met Luffy, you'd be dead now, wouldn't you? Which female do you hate the most, besides Naimi? Which male besides Sanji?...That's all for now.  
Ja nae._

_Signed,  
Jaden_

**_Dear Jaden,_**

**_More mental images. The joy._**

**_Luffy being emo? That is just not possible. But meeting him has definitly helped me by, Ill admit._**

**_Tashigi bugs me. And Mihawk. Come, that one was obvious._**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro,  
Yo I'm new to this asking questions to you thing so I'd like to say Hi! First of all, you'll have no worries about me cause I'm not psycho! But I still admire you and think you're the coolest guy on the show! Kudos to swordsmen (and women)! Though I would have never thought anyone could use three swords until you came into my existence. Now, on to my questions:_

_1. If you weren't on the Straw Hats crew, which pirate crew would you want to be in?  
2. I pity you for being paired up with Sanji I hate yaoi's and yuri's as well.(no offense to those who do like them) But here's a curious thought; what if Sanji was a girl instead of a guy? Would you consider the pairing?  
3. If my memory serves me right, the sensei at the dojo you were in doesn't teach three swords fighting-style. So where did you learn to fight with three swords? _

**Dear icebluehost,**

**1) If I never met Luffy I dont think I'd ever be one any other pirate crew. I was a bounty hunter after all.**

**2) Previous gender bending questions have blinded me to all subjects on that matter.**

**3) Me, myself and I.**_

* * *

_

_Hey Zoro! It's me! YOu know, that one guy... with the... um.. oh, never mind._

Be sure to protest Yaoi while your on the island. I'm sure that doing that in such a populated place will have a big impact.

And now for the question... are you asnwering any on the island? Anyway...

What's the best way to get revenge on someone? Say, if Sanji went too far, or if you met an author who put you in a ZoSan... what would you do? ANy suggestions you have would be appreciated.

Also, how do I yell so that eveyone in the room gets quiet? I figures you'd know...

As always, this is Amaxing  
Good NIght, and good luck

**Dear Amaxing,**

**Slow and painful (That's for the ZoSan question too).**

**"OI, SHUT UP." Generally works. For me.**

_Dear Zoro,_

Thanks for the advice, I really do need to be more...agressive;

I was just wondering what you think of cosplayers, particularly ones that cosplay as you or your friends. So far, I've really only seen one thats a really good 'Zoro' :p I know, pretty random question!

Thanks!

-Angst Lover

**Dear Angst Lover,**

**Cosplaying me is pretty damn hard. But I cant blame them. Im just that badass.**

Yay! Updation! ...That is definitly not a work...

On another note, I just want to give a shout out to a fellow One Piece author and a close friend, SkieLoon! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NEE-CHAN!

...

Ahem.

**/Roronoa Zoro glares.**

**-Sigh- Happy birthday...**


End file.
